Mui-interview of those days



summary page of interviews

March 5, 1993


A real woman  welcoming 30


Anita Mui once discussed with friends about the problem of woman of 30, all the answers happened to be the same.  A  woman of 30 already has life experience, success in career, is practical, also has certain  attraction to man; therefore , woman of 30 can be regarded as real woman.

How about Ah Mui, how is she going to welcome 30?

[I 'm concerned about that age, I'm not afraid of that number, but I don't know how to face it.  Of course if I have spent the past 30 years aimlessly, I would be very scared, I would feel that I am really useless; but I was not like that,  I started working when I was a few years old, I feel my life is meaningful.]

[When you started to be conscious of your age?]

[After 25, obviously I feel I can't control my physical and spiritual condition;  before 25 I never suffered insomnia, that started from 26.]

[Where does the pressure come from at 30?]

[Mother, friends, because still not married, also don't have a prospective one.  I always wonder whether a woman must get married to secure a long term rice ticket.  My mother started to worry about me since I was over 23, hoping I would get married at 30.  Under such influence, I fell I should get married at 30, otherwise will be over age.  People always talk about that, I'm under great pressure.]

[At what stage you find that you want a family most?]       

[I most liked to have a family when I was 26 or 27.  I was at the peak of my career at that time, if I could find a good husband at the same time, my life would really have no regret.]

[To other people, you have  prestige and profit, are you after these things?]

[Don't know what to say, other people think that I should be happy and contented, but all these are not what I desire.  I don't dream about these things, I'd rather have a healthy and wholesome family, I'd rather exchange for it with all my possession.  Some of you might think I'm only talking, but only because I know I won't have a chance to have a happy family, that is why I have to use career to take up its place.]

[How do you feel about a home?]

[A very safe place, it is a kind of safe feeling that there will never be dangers.  In the past, I was afraid to return to home.  The house was too big,  too quiet, looked emptier.  That was the feeling of  loneliness.  So I fooled around with a group of friends.  But when I returned home after that , I felt more lonely.  I tried to get rid of loneliness, but only more loneliness.  But now I like to return home, I feel it is so comfortable to be at home.  Also what I felt to be loneliness has turned to be tranquility, very comfortable, the reason I give to such a change is because I am old now.]

[What's your goal at 30?]

[This goal of mine might sound impractical to some people, but this is my wish for these few years.  I wish I can do something for my country.  I dare not say it's great.  I'm only planning,  not mature yet.]

[This wish seems that it has no relation with you yourself?]

[It is because I already have all the things that most people wish to have before 30.]

[Does it mean you don't know how to love yourself, or you overlook yourself?]

[I overlook myself.........actually very sad, friends and fans all feel very upset when they see me like this.  If I love myself, many things I should not do, such as hitting the wall, drink, cry........all hurts my health.  Other people comment that I treat work seriously, I do all dangerous action myself, climbing to height, actually I have height phobia, I really don't care about myself.]

[Is it because no one ever understands you, to share with your sorrow, so you don't love yourself?]

[Right, definitely right.  Gradually even I give up myself.]

[A tranquil peaceful life, is it contradictory to your work?]

[Yes.  It is less active compared to the past, it is not a good thing for this circle.  People who don't understand would think that you have retired.  But no choice, I wish my life will be less hectic after 30, so that I can make preparation  for  my future life.  For instance if I want to do business, then I have to start learning.  In the past, I never cared about the bottom line, loss or profit;  but from now on, I don't want to lose, as I'm afraid that I can't afford to lose in the future.]

[How is your philosophy about love?]

[To love a person forever, and totally won.  But I feel people of this generation easy come, easy go, I won't know how long the other person will love me, very difficult to speculate.]

[Then how modern women should prepare themselves to face this?]

[Courage, otherwise I can't live till now.  Have to be able to face it and let go, this is the female of 90s.  Any hesitation, then it won't be graceful enough.  I'd rather suffer myself, choose to leave, don't like to leave any trace behind.]

[To what would you compare a woman of 30?]

[A rose just to bloom, because no fragrance when in bud, full bloom rose will be discarded, so it is most ideal when it just starts to bloom.]

[Wish you, the rose, to find a rose lover as soon as possible.]

[........but this rose has thorns.]  (with a eye sight of a killer.)