Mui-interview of those days

Index

 

summary page of interviews

March 5, 1993

 

A real woman  welcoming 30

 

Anita Mui once discussed with friends about the problem of woman of 30, all the answers happened to be the same.  A  woman of 30 already has life experience, success in career, is practical, also has certain  attraction to man; therefore , woman of 30 can be regarded as real woman.

How about Ah Mui, how is she going to welcome 30?

[I 'm concerned about that age, I'm not afraid of that number, but I don't know how to face it.  Of course if I have spent the past 30 years aimlessly, I would be very scared, I would feel that I am really useless; but I was not like that,  I started working when I was a few years old, I feel my life is meaningful.]

[When you started to be conscious of your age?]

[After 25, obviously I feel I can't control my physical and spiritual condition;  before 25 I never suffered insomnia, that started from 26.]

[Where does the pressure come from at 30?]

[Mother, friends, because still not married, also don't have a prospective one.  I always wonder whether a woman must get married to secure a long term rice ticket.  My mother started to worry about me since I was over 23, hoping I would get married at 30.  Under such influence, I fell I should get married at 30, otherwise will be over age.  People always talk about that, I'm under great pressure.]

[At what stage you find that you want a family most?]       

[I most liked to have a family when I was 26 or 27.  I was at the peak of my career at that time, if I could find a good husband at the same time, my life would really have no regret.]

[To other people, you have  prestige and profit, are you after these things?]

[Don't know what to say, other people think that I should be happy and contented, but all these are not what I desire.  I don't dream about these things, I'd rather have a healthy and wholesome family, I'd rather exchange for it with all my possession.  Some of you might think I'm only talking, but only because I know I won't have a chance to have a happy family, that is why I have to use career to take up its place.]

[How do you feel about a home?]

[A very safe place, it is a kind of safe feeling that there will never be dangers.  In the past, I was afraid to return to home.  The house was too big,  too quiet, looked emptier.  That was the feeling of  loneliness.  So I fooled around with a group of friends.  But when I returned home after that , I felt more lonely.  I tried to get rid of loneliness, but only more loneliness.  But now I like to return home, I feel it is so comfortable to be at home.  Also what I felt to be loneliness has turned to be tranquility, very comfortable, the reason I give to such a change is because I am old now.]

[What's your goal at 30?]

[This goal of mine might sound impractical to some people, but this is my wish for these few years.  I wish I can do something for my country.  I dare not say it's great.  I'm only planning,  not mature yet.]

[This wish seems that it has no relation with you yourself?]

[It is because I already have all the things that most people wish to have before 30.]

[Does it mean you don't know how to love yourself, or you overlook yourself?]

[I overlook myself.........actually very sad, friends and fans all feel very upset when they see me like this.  If I love myself, many things I should not do, such as hitting the wall, drink, cry........all hurts my health.  Other people comment that I treat work seriously, I do all dangerous action myself, climbing to height, actually I have height phobia, I really don't care about myself.]

[Is it because no one ever understands you, to share with your sorrow, so you don't love yourself?]

[Right, definitely right.  Gradually even I give up myself.]

[A tranquil peaceful life, is it contradictory to your work?]

[Yes.  It is less active compared to the past, it is not a good thing for this circle.  People who don't understand would think that you have retired.  But no choice, I wish my life will be less hectic after 30, so that I can make preparation  for  my future life.  For instance if I want to do business, then I have to start learning.  In the past, I never cared about the bottom line, loss or profit;  but from now on, I don't want to lose, as I'm afraid that I can't afford to lose in the future.]

[How is your philosophy about love?]

[To love a person forever, and totally won.  But I feel people of this generation easy come, easy go, I won't know how long the other person will love me, very difficult to speculate.]

[Then how modern women should prepare themselves to face this?]

[Courage, otherwise I can't live till now.  Have to be able to face it and let go, this is the female of 90s.  Any hesitation, then it won't be graceful enough.  I'd rather suffer myself, choose to leave, don't like to leave any trace behind.]

[To what would you compare a woman of 30?]

[A rose just to bloom, because no fragrance when in bud, full bloom rose will be discarded, so it is most ideal when it just starts to bloom.]

[Wish you, the rose, to find a rose lover as soon as possible.]

[........but this rose has thorns.]  (with a eye sight of a killer.)

 

1993年3月5日  

一個迎接三十的真女人  

 

梅艷芳曾與朋友討論三十歲女人的問題,答案不謀而合,是三十歲女人有人生經驗,事業有成、踏實,且對男士有著不可抗拒的吸引力;所以,三十歲的女人,可稱得上為真女人。  

至於阿梅,她又如何迎接三十歲?

「我幾介意踏進這個年齡,唔係怕三十這個歲數,而係唔知怎樣去面對o個樣心境。當然假如過去三十年,我是渾渾噩噩的過了,我會好驚,因為覺得自己好無用;但係我無,從幾歲開始入行,我覺得人生好充實。」

「幾時意識到自己的年齡?」

「廿五歲之後,明顯覺得體力和精神不受控制;廿五歲前不曾失眠,廿六歲開始有。」

「三十歲的最大壓力來自哪方面?」

「媽媽,朋友,因為重未嫁得出,又未有一個落實o既對象。我成日諗,女人係咪一定要有張長期飯票?阿媽由我廿幾歲開始擔心,希望我三十歲嫁得出。我長期o係呢種影響下,又覺得三十歲應該嫁,遲o左會超齡,不時俾人講,好大壓力。」

 「哪一個階段最想有個家?」

 「廿六,廿七歲時最想有個家。那時候是我事業最高峰,要是當時找到一個好丈夫,人生無憾。」

 「別人眼中你有名有利,這是否你所追求?」

 「好無奈,別人睇我應該開心滿足,但這一切也非我所渴求。我所夢想不是這些,我寧取一個健康,完整的家庭,我願意把我擁有的交換。有人可能覺得我好口響,但我知道我沒機會擁有一個好家庭,所以就以事業彌補不足。」  

「你對家有什麼感覺?」  

「好安全,是那種永遠唔會殺到o黎的安全感。過去,好怕返屋企,間屋好大好靜,空框框。以前將這種靜的感覺視為寂寞,於是一大班朋友到處玩,到玩完返屋企,寂寞感更重,原來刻意排除寂寞就更寂寞。但係而家好想返屋企,覺得屋企好舒服,且將過往認為寂靜的感覺,化作寧靜,好舒服,我解釋這種轉變是因為我老了。」

「三十歲的目標是什麼?」  

「這個目標對一般人來說或許不切實際,但這是我好幾年前的心願,我希望在三十歲為祖國做點事,不敢說是偉大,正部署,尚未成熟。」

「這個願望好像跟你自己沒有關係?」

「已豁出去,因為很多人要求在三十歲前擁有的,我已擁有。」

「這表示你已懂得愛惜自己,還是不重視自己?」

「係唔重視自己……其實幾心傷,朋友和歌迷見到也很Upset(傷感)。如果我係愛惜自己,好多o野我唔應該做,例如打牆,喝酒,哭……全都是傷身的。別人話阿梅工作認真,什麼危險動作也做,爬到高高,其實我有畏高,我就係唔愛惜自己。」

「因為一直以來沒有人真正了解你,能與你分憂,所以你唔愛惜自己?」

「係,絕對係。慢慢連我自己都放棄自己。」

「懂得在家享受寧靜後,會否好點?」

「好o左D。唔打牆,因為手痛;唔喝酒,因為嘔吐好辛苦;唔出夜街,因為浪費時間。但這都不代表我愛惜自己,只是我懶。」

「寧靜的生活方式,可有與你的工作相違背?」

「有。少o左以前o個份活躍,對呢行唔係一件好事。唔了解你o既人,以為你搵夠收山。但沒法子,我希望在三十歲以後的人生減少頻撲,好讓我將日後的日子好好整理。例如我想去從商,便要開始學。過去我從不理賺蝕;但從此以後,我不想蝕,因日後的日子恐怕蝕不起。」   

「你的愛情觀是怎樣?」

「天長地久,愛一個人,完全擁有。但我覺得這一代男歡女愛,易來易去,我唔知對方會愛我幾耐,好難捉摸。」

「那麼現代女性應具備什麼條件去面對?」

「勇氣,要不然,我活不到現在。要拎得起放得低,才是九十年代女性,稍一拖泥帶水,已不夠瀟灑,寧願痛,自己走,我不會留尾巴。」

「你會用什麼來比喻三十歲的女人?」

「剛開的玫瑰。因含苞沒味道,開盡的會被棄,故剛開最理想。」

「願你這朵玫瑰花,早日找到惜花人。」

……呢朵玫瑰有刺。」(加一個殺人眼神)