Mui-interview of those days

Index

 

summary page of interviews

 

1992

Anita Mui finally realizes Impermanence

by Kit Yee  

 

Once, she declared that she would destroy the billboard of the fortune teller.  But after the trouble she has gone through, she believes human planning can't supersede what is pre-determined by Heaven. In recent months she works very hard for charity.

After suffered from troubles for half a year,  recently she can be seen she has already recovered her complexion and confidence, completed looks different from the time when she looked most withered, entirely a different person.  Thank God, glad to see her pleasant smile again.

Being fugitive, living in terror

For a few months, she has kept her where-about in secret, seems very mysterious, even those closest to her didn't know where she was.  She has been staying overseas for a period, outsiders felt that  she was just like a fugitive, living in terror, maybe she had the same feeling too.  Now everything is getting better,  if not because of this incident, she would never have left Hong Kong for a complete rest, a retreat for thinking.  She has been in entertainment circle for 10 years, hardly any time for such a break and re-charge of energy.

[In the past I always reminded myself that I should reduce unnecessary society functions, shouldn't involve in a life full of drinking, eating and pursuing fun.  But after I remained to be quiet for a little while, I started again, and lost control of myself.  But, people will change due to change of age.  Now I'm not in a mood to fool around, I only look forward to a peaceful and quiet life.  I still need friends, but only those who really care about me, and understand me.  Those just for drinking and dining, better not!]

Doing charity actively

Observing Ah Mui careful, her attitude has changed to be very tranquil, reserve and sincere.  I know she has worked very hard for charity during recent months.  Besides making monetary contribution, every day she spends time in praying to drive away troubles.  As time goes by, this helps her to be more spiritual and she starts to look through this life gradually.

She has just passed her 29th birthday, it is just one year away from the big hurdle of 30 .  It is a sensitive hurdle to all girls, as once reaching 30, no longer young.  One fortune teller once foretold that Ah Mui would encounter a big disaster before 29, and also forecasted that after her peak, Ah Mui would have a very sad ending, she would become penniless and die early.

Ah Mui once protested loudly: [I don't believe that will come true.  I have made plenty and saved plenty, how can I use them all.  I will live up to 70, and destroy the billboard of that fortune teller.]

Realization of Karma

With  her present assets, even she retires from the entertainment circle right away, she doesn't have to worry about her living, even a luxurious living style.  But she dares not say that she will destroy the fortune teller's bill board anymore.  The fact of the happening of trouble made her believe human planning can't supersede what is predetermined by Heaven.  Because of this, she wants to know clearly the future direction, she doesn't like to live a life with deteriorated and empty mental state.

It is said that incident hasn't been settled completely, the money matter hasn't been cleared up.  How much money Ah Mui really has to pay to get back her freedom to live again?  Of course she would not say, but can't not save on that.  For 10 years, she has been generous, that has never been changed.  Money, won't really bother her. Someone died for no reason pitifully, no matter who should be responsible, she became one of the key persons.  The suffering during that period she would never forget during her life.  It gave her also lots of inspiration, and realized about karma.  (Ridiculous!  Someone died, none of Mui's business.  Only because she is rich, she became a scapegoat.  But did they know she made every cent by her hard work, it's her blood/sweat money? I totally loath and despise those Tai  Gor who squeezed money from an innocent, helpless woman!  What a boyfriend! caused her so much trouble. )

Now Ah Mui finally realizes everything, not only verbally, she didn't celebrate her 29th birthday by holding extravagant party, she only went to Po Lin Monastery at Lantau Island for monks food with more than 10 friends, having a very low profile birthday, that was entirely different from past 9 birthdays.  This shows she really has changed.  During the day belonged to her, Ben Lam has been regarded as her companion, of course had accompanied her.

Ben Lam is introvert.  After he has been with Ah Mui for a year, he is more careful in whatever he says  or he does, especially to questions related to Ah Mui.  He would reply, but too careful, so just like he never replies.

Last year, Ah Mui still said she died to get married.  When her sister, Ann Mui, was going to get married, she even mentioned that she wished someone would just pick her up, as she desired for a life of housewife.  But now her thinking has changed a great deal.  She is terrified by marriage, she is afraid that married  life style would not suit her.  Also she enjoys the freedom of a single life, as  she doesn't have to be responsible for anyone.  The past 29 years was like that, how will be the next 29 years?  She never thinks about it, but she doesn't like to live unhappily, she doesn't like to have further burdens. 

Just be natural, won't post any demand

[Nothing is definite, also impossible not to have changes, just like the thinking of a person will change greatly.  Two persons must understand each other thoroughly in order to stay together till old, but must be able to go through all tests, then their relation can last forever.  Not because I lose confidence in myself or in other people, but things in this world changes all the time.  A promise of today can't be a definite standard.  In order to be prepare for anything happen unexpectedly, why not just be open for everything, not try to have any hope, so that we will not have any disappointment and feel hurt when nothing comes as expected.]

Ah Mui admits frankly that being single suits her better at this moment.  She and Ben Lam understand each other more and more, but just a pure friendship will make them feel more comfortable and natural, less burden for each other.

Peace, tranquility, discarding away trivia, the world is full of loving hearts, this is the wish of Ah Mui's birthday for this years; as for her personal wish, it is a very simple one too: [Not worse than my past days, that is good enough.]

Ben Lam sounds same as she.  He doesn't plan to get married either.  It is best to keep their present situation.  He likes Ah Mui, but won't just be verbally, will prove it by action.  This is the down-to-earth character Ah Mui likes.

Pushed by waves from behind, fighting spirit not reduced

As for the performing career, Ah Mui's goal is the same.  She is confident she will reach  another milestone both in her filming and singing career.  In the film [The Heroic Trios] that she worked for after she got back, it's role has scope for her to develop.  Also there are other tailor made movies for her to choose.  As for singing, even though she has resigned from stage, she still loves singing.  Next year, she will start recording.  She will never go backwards, she will advance forward, at the same pace with the world.

Sometimes she will laugh at herself: [The sales volume of new singers can be even better than Anita Mui's!] Or: [The world belong to 4 super kings, no place for me to stand!]  It is because she dares tease herself, it shows she is open minded and she has quality, her potential hasn't been fully developed.  She believes she will have further peaks.  She knows she has to work hard, she wants support, she will put personal emotions aside, but invest all enthusiasm once more to the development of her career.  Ah Mui has found the direction she wants to go!

 

梅艷芳終悟天道無常    《玉郎電視》    1992年

當年她有破相士招牌的豪語,但經歷挫折煎熬後,令她相信人算不如天算的道理,近月勤修功德。

有道是「否極泰來」,在過去半年備受困擾的梅艷芳,近期所見已回復神采與自信,與最差狀態時的憔悴模樣比較儼如兩人。感謝上帝,喜見阿梅這副開朗臉容重現人前。

天涯亡命•步步驚心

這數月來她的行蹤既保密又神秘,連摯親與最愛也未必知道她身在何方,她斷斷續續在外地小住一段時期,外間人看她是亡命天涯一步一驚心,或許她亦不抹煞這分感覺,但正是由壞變好,如非今次事件,她也難得離港作徹底避靜,好讓思想全面淨化,此乃以前未嘗試過,投入娛圈十年,難得大休充電調養生機。

「以前我提醒自己要修心養性,減省無謂應酬,不要再沉醉吃喝玩樂的境界,但靜完一輪又性起,就似失去自控繼續荒唐下去。到底人是隨著年紀而改變,我現在不單提不起勁去玩去癲,只嚮往寧靜平和的生活。我仍然需要朋友,但是要那些真正關心與了解我的朋友,酒肉之交?不要也罷!」

收歛豪氣•積極行善

細意看阿梅,她收歛過往的意氣風發,取而代之是一種詳和莊重而且更見誠懇的神態,我知她這數月來很勤力做功德,捐錢行善之外,每日都有唸經驅去惱氣,日子有功,她是修得一點靈慧,對人生種種已漸看化。

早前她剛度過廿九歲生日,距離三十大關就只差一年,這個要命的關口對少女別有感受,彷彿踏入「三」字頭就不再年輕。曾有相士批阿梅在廿九歲前有一大劫數,更預言她風光過後便落得慘淡收場,身家散盡甚至命薄早逝。

阿梅曾經聲大大的講過:「我不相信會應驗,我搵埋剩埋一大筆,怎會散得盡,我就要活到七十歲,破那相士招牌。」

因果循環•大徹大悟

 以她現時的家財就是全身撤退娛圈也不愁生活,依然可以過得奢華富貴,但她不敢再有破人招牌的豪語,真實的挫折令阿梅相信人算不如天算的道理,正因為這樣,她更要摸清未來路向,不想再活在迂腐空虛的精神領域。

有說那件麻煩事仍未完全解決,關於錢銀問題當沒有搞得清楚明白,到底阿梅要付上幾許疏通費用方可重獲再生自由?她本人當然不會講,但錢是慳不了,她的疏財本性數十年不變,錢!反而不足以令她懊惱,因為人家賠了生命而覺得無辜可憐,無論應由誰負上責任,她是成了有關人物之一,那段期間的煎熬,她一輩子也忘不了,也給她無數的啟發,悟出人世間的因果循環之說。

恐懼婚姻•怕添負累

阿梅今趙大徹大悟並非只是口講,就以她廿九歲生日不作大事舖排慶祝,倒只與十數好友遠赴大嶼山寶蓮寺吃齋拜神,如此低調度生日確與過去九年不相同,但卻是有口對心要作徹悟的表現,在屬於她的日子,被視為她伴侶的林國斌怎可少,當然要陪伴左右加以追隨。

斌仔本來就是內向的人,與阿梅感情越有進展的一年來,他的言談舉止更小心謹慎,特別對他與阿梅的問題,他不會不答,就是過分慎重,以致答了就似是與沒有說過話無異。

阿梅去年仍說自己恨嫁,當姊姊梅愛芳嫁杏有期,就恨到出口說希望有人將她撿回家,很嚮往家庭主婦的住家生活。但如今她的想法是大大改變,對於婚姻,她越感恐懼,只怕另一種生活方式不適合她,而且獨身自由無需向任何人交代,過去廿九年是這樣,未來廿九年又會是怎樣?她無從預計,就是不想過得不開心,最怕再添負累就是。

放開懷抱•不作強求

「世事沒有絕對,也不可能一成不變,一如人的心路歷程都可以作大幅度改變,兩個人的相處更要了解通透,絕對經得起考驗才可以白頭到老。我不是對自己或別人都失去信心,而是世事變幻莫測,今日的承諾沒有絕對的標準,與其到時才來的措手不及,何不凡事放開,不作任何希望,免致失預算到頭來落得失望傷心。」

阿梅坦言現階段獨身更適合她,她與斌仔越來越了解,但保持著純友誼來往令彼此更舒服自然,少卻負擔。

平靜安定,拋開繁瑣牽掛,世界滿注愛心,這是阿梅今年的生日願望;至於個人的希望,她也是很簡單的一句:「不比過去那些日子差那就足夠!」

斌仔與她的口供也很吻合,他也未有結婚的打算,目前是保持現狀最適合。他是喜歡阿梅,但從不會口講,一切都以行動表達,阿梅就是喜歡他踏實肯捱的性格。

後浪衝擊•未減鬥志

對於演藝事業,阿梅是有目標依據,在電影與歌唱她自信有實力可更進一步,她復出接拍的《東方三俠》是有一定的發揮。還有其他,講明為她度身定造的戲匭供選擇,又如歌唱方面,雖然已退出舞台,但熱愛歌唱的癮頭未曾減少,明年她會再灌錄唱片,即使不斷有後衝擊,但她不後退,仍需向前衝,緊跟時代步伐邁進。

偶爾她會自謔:「梅艷芳的唱片連新秀也可以比她好銷!」又或者:「都是四大天王的天下,我哪處有地方站!」正因為敢於自我嘲諷,更顯得她有氣量有本錢,阿梅的潛質仍未完全發掘出來,她相信可再掀高潮,她是必然的努力,更想外界給予支持,將私人感情的熱衷投入重新轉於在事業發展之上,阿梅已找到想要走的路向!

文:潔兒