Mui-interview of those days

Index

 

summary page of interviews

 

Anita Mui:  I want to find real sentiment

(Vogue, Aug 1997)

Simplicity is an attitude, not a style.  I know I still can't get rid of many of my burdens.  But I really wish I will lead a simple and carefree life.

Stanley Kwan and Anita Mui are in the same mood, and have a strong desire for  simplicity.

Inside the movie studio, Anita Mui is standing in front of the camera, full of confidence.

She said: [I believe I have talent in this area.]

Her expression displays her clear mind.

Since I was very young, I like the feeling of being on the stage, on which I can directly express myself.  Gathering the feeling of that moment, that is the space I familiar with.

When Anita Mui is very close to time and space, she embraces a mood of her own, a kind of mood that  you might not be able to approach easily, but you can feel her sex appeal.

Anita Mui:  I can consciously sense it, but I might not be able to do it.  I know we should see things from a distance, but I can't be objective.  However, as now I'm not affected by my own basic necessity of life, such as shelter and food, happiness, anger or sorrow, I can look at things more openly.  I can be moved comparatively easily, and can feel the pain of others.  Just like after I saw the movie about the piglet [I'm not stupid, I have things to say], I abstained from eating pork, gradually I will stop eating fowls.  If going in this direction, finally I become a vegetarian.

Stanley Kwan: Since you can  step back and think, you can take care of the things and people around you, not only think about your own grief, actually this is already a distance, an attitude of looking at things.  This to you is in fact a change.

Anita Mui:  Of course I have changed.  In my work, on the whole, I feel I'm facing a transitional time, hoping I can think what I really want, then I'll start.  You know, in the past I didn't have too much independence.  Let's look at filming, I just classify myself as an actress only, to me it is not too interesting already.  In contrary, I have an impulse to create a character,  not just according to a script, but the overall movie environment might not allow you to finish what you think; also look at singing, always so much unnecessary competition,  that makes you feel there is never an ending.  Therefore, a few years ago, I simply declared that I would never receive any award anymore.

Stanley Kwan:  But the Anita Mui I knew in the past was actually a person who strove to excel.  I remember once we chatted in your home, when we talked about your singing, you said in high spirit that you were the best singer.

Anita Mui:  Yep, I am like that since I was young.  I don't like the feeling to lose, even it is a simple game, e.g. 划拳 (guessing with fists.  I don't know the proper name in English, it is a game when they are drinking).  Even I am vomiting due to too much drinks, I still insist to go on, because I don't like to be a loser.

Stanley Kwan:  But you are still in this circle now, it is unavoidable that you will compare yourself with others, would that bothers you?

Anita Mui:  No, it won't.  I will never disparage others in order to raise myself.  It is possible that I will dislike others, but I would not disparage others.  I never have an imaginary enemy, I will only be mad at myself for not being able to do something, my imaginary enemy is myself. 

Stanley Kwan:  If you never have imaginary enemy, then why you decided to withdraw a few years ago.

Anita Mui:  I really felt very tired to live with the profit/status seeking relations.  It is possible for me not to care,  but the record company can't.  Okay, then I won't accept awards, does it mean it is not necessary for me to do anything I don't like to do?

Stanley Kwan:  You decided not to accept award, does it really make your mood comparatively better?

Anita Mui: [With] has its good advantage, and [without] also has its advantage.  When I declared that I would not accept awards, many people immediately thought that I was worthless, saying that Anita Mui not good anymore, her singing no good.  Anyway, many people stepped on me.  At the beginning, of course it was not easy for me to accept that,  I felt I didn't do anything wrong.  But after a few years, I can figure out things quite clearly, actually there must be a transitional period, you must get used to those noises.

Stanley Kwan:  Besides those adverse comments, as a person, how would you hope to improve yourself?

Anita Mui:  Actually I want to put all my things aside, not to worry about them  anymore.

Stanley Kwan:  But you still worry that you have quite heavy burden, for example financial burden of your family.   Actually you are a very traditional person.

Anita Mui:  But I really want to set aside everything.

Stanley Kwan:  If you really set aside everything, will it allow you to have a new direction, that will then give you many different changes and improvement?

Anita Mui:  I don't know, but at least I can definitely find real sentiment!.

It is full of noises of the crowds of people around, the tape recorder keeps on turning .  I have something to tell Anita Mui,  but it can  be possible when there are only two of us, then I won't worry if she will gets hurt, and then I can tell her what I really want to say.  In front of the tape recorder, I'm not able to say it, because what is recorded by the tape recorder will be kept in record.

Therefore although in the end, when this article appears, you might feel that Stanley Kwan's questions are stupid, Anita Mui's replies are stupid too, it is better than to hurt her.  I can only say, don't hurt her anymore!

By Stanley Kwan

 

梅艷芳:我想找到真感情

《VOGUE》   1997年8月

樸素是一種心態,而不是一種姿態,我知道我還有很多的包袱沒有辦法馬上放下,然而,我真心的希望擁有一份簡單而隨意的生活。

關錦鵬與梅艷芳在同類的情緒中,感覺內在本質的樸素欲望

攝影棚裡的梅艷芳,滿滿自信的站在鏡頭的前面。

我相信我有這方面的天分,她說。

表情裡始終清楚的心緒。

我從小就很喜歡舞台的感覺,在那我可以很直接的把自己發放出來,凝聚剎那間的感覺,那是我所熟悉的空間。

在梅艷芳親和同時距離的分明中,有著一種非常自我的情緒,一種你或許無法輕易接近,卻可以真實感覺的性感。

梅艷芳:我有意識到,可是我做不到。我知道人應該用一個距離的角度去看事情,可是我不一定能夠做到客觀。不過,在不牽涉到自己的溫飽、喜怒哀樂的情況之下,我現在對很多事情比較能夠退開來看。比較容易被感動,會感覺到對方的痛。好像我看了那部小豬的電影《我不笨,我有話要說》之後,就戒了豬肉,慢慢有很多的飛禽也不吃了,再這樣下去,我都快變成一個素食者了。

關錦鵬:妳既然能夠這樣退一步想,能夠照顧到旁邊多一點的人跟事,而不只是自己的哀傷,這其實就已經是一種距離,一種觀看的態度,這對妳來說,其實也是一種改變。

梅艷芳:我當然是有了一些改變。在整體工作上,我覺得自己正面臨一個轉折期,會希望能夠好好的想清楚自己要什麼之後再出發。你知道,以往你其實沒有太多的自主權。比方說演戲,光是把自己定位在一個演員的位置,對我來說已經不好玩了。我反而更有衝動去創作一個人物,而不只是按照劇本去做,可是整體電影的環境不一定能夠讓你完成成你自己的想法;又好比唱歌,總是有太多無謂的競爭,那是一種無止盡的感覺。所以我前幾年就乾脆宣佈說我不再拿獎了。

關錦鵬:但我以往所認識的梅艷芳,其實是一個蠻好強的人,我記得有一次在妳家裡聊天,談到唱歌的時候妳會意氣風發的說,自己是唱的最好的。

梅艷芳:是啊,我從小就很好強,我不喜歡輸的感覺,即使是一個簡單的遊戲,例如划拳,就算喝到吐,我都還是會堅持下去,因為我不喜歡輸。

關錦鵬:可是妳現在還是在這個圈子裡,難免就會拿自己跟別人比較,這會不會對妳造成困擾。

梅艷芳:不會,我從來就不會貶低別人來抬高自己,我會不喜歡別人,可是我不會踩扁人家,一直以來我都沒有假想敵,我只會生氣自己做不到,我的假想敵可能只是自己。

關錦鵬:如果沒有假想敵,幾年前為什麼曾經決定要退出呢。

梅艷芳:真的是覺得在那種利害關係裡的感覺太辛苦了,我可以不在乎,可是唱片公司不能,那好吧,我不再拿獎,是不是就不需要再去做一些自己不想做的事情了。

關錦鵬:決定不再繼續拿獎,是不是就真的讓心情變的比較好一點。

梅艷芳:「有」有「有」的好處、「沒有」有「沒有」的好處,當我一宣佈不拿獎的事情,很多人馬上就把我給看扁了,就說梅艷芳已經不行了,歌唱的不好,反正就是一沉百踩。剛開始當然很不好受,覺得我又沒有做錯什麼事情,但經過幾年之後慢慢清楚,其實一定會有這個過渡期,妳必須要去適應這些聲音。

關錦鵬:除了這些外在的批評,做為一個人呢,妳會希望怎麼improve妳自己。

梅艷芳:我其實很想把所有的事情都放下來,全部都不要顧慮。

關錦鵬:然而妳得顧慮到妳還有蠻大的負擔,比方說家裡的經濟種種,妳其實是一個很傳統的人。

梅艷芳:但我真的很想要放下。

關錦鵬:如果真的放下,是不是就可以讓妳擁有一個新的方向,真的讓自己有更多不同的改變跟進步了呢。

梅艷芳:我不知道,但我想最起碼,我一定可以找到一份真的感情。

四周圍充滿嘈雜的人聲,錄音機不斷的轉動著。有一些話想對梅艷芳說,然而,那是在只有我們兩個人的時候,只有在那個時候,我可以顧不得她的傷害,可以把我心裡真正想要講的話說出來。在錄音機的前面,我沒有辦法說,因為錄音機所記錄到的,是會被記錄下來的。

所以儘管到頭來,在這篇文章出現的時候,你也許會覺得關錦鵬問的stupid,梅艷芳答的stupid,但這都比傷害她來的好。我只能說,不要再傷害她了。

採訪口述:關錦鵬    撰文整理:許麗玉